Saturday, 14 May 2022

In love with the world - 11. A Visit from Panic, My Old Friend

Contributors

Bonnie, Ann

Chapter 11 key points

Enough by Brother David Steindl-Rast

May you grow still enough to hear the small noises earth makes in preparing for the long sleep of winter, so that you yourself may grow calm and grounded deep within. 

May you grow still enough to hear the trickling of water seeping into the ground, so that your soul may be softened and healed, and guided in its flow. 

May you grow still enough to hear the splintering of starlight in the winter sky and the roar at earth's fiery core. 

May you grow still enough to hear the stir of a single snowflake in the air, so that your inner silence may turn into hushed expectation.

A reading from the Thich Nhat Hanh book, At Home in the World, (p. 178, 2nd paragraph).

Our true home is the present moment, whatever is happening right here and right now. Our true home is  a place without discrimination, a place without hatred. Out rue home is the place where we ae no longer seeking anything, no longer yearning for anything, no longer regretting anything. When we return to right here and right now with the energy of mindfulness, we will be able to establish our true home in the present moment.

Chapter 11 review:

In this chapter, Rinpoche revisits his experience of panic attacks from when he was a young boy. His physical symptoms of nausea, sweating and dizziness would block his ability to reason. 

His last and worst panic attack was just before he turned 14, but he knew in his mind that his panic would not be permanent. He made a vow to try to stop this self-created suffering by supporting it with the Buddha’s teaching that ultimately all suffering is self-created. He states, “As anyone in the hell of hatred knows, nothing binds you to the object of hatred more than your own aversion.” 

He unsuccessfully tries to fix these attacks by way of the two aspects of craving. The first was by pushing the problem away to dispose of it, but it actually did the opposite by refuelling it.  

The second way was by pulling his life in the opposite direction of inviting only happy things. He realized this type of thinking would only be divisive. He knew that all things change and then examined the transitory nature of all phenomena.  

He discovered the only reliable liberation from suffering was to not try to dispose of the problem. Instead, he decided to become more familiar with his rigid sense of self. He knew even if he got rid of panic, difficult circumstances would occur but if he viewed them with a more spacious and open mind, he believed he could rise above his panic. But then his inner voice of fear would say just because it can change, does not mean it will. 

In Rinpoche’s private meeting with Tai Situ Rinpoche, he was told, “When the affliction of negative emotions is blazing like fire, then wisdom, is also blazing like fire.’ This was an awakening for Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche because he realized that there was a possibility that panic and wisdom might coexist without discord. 

He had learned the difference between the self and the mere self. The ‘mere I’ functions without attachment and does not engage in manipulation of the world for self-satisfaction. He continue this dialogue in his mind to try to relieve his fear and impending panic of the present situation. 

He had learned about trusting in awareness and staying within that recognition. It only required a change in his perception. 

However, faced with another night on the floor of the Varanasi train station, he found that the panic he thought he had stilled was not quieted. He then retreats back for a second night on the cot in the railway dormitory to ease his fear.     

Summary

Video: working with difficult emotions

Question

1. Can you identify a problem that really was self-created and has caused you to suffer in the past or that is still causing you to suffer in the present?

Were you able to diminish the suffering or stop it through some action you have taken, and what was that action?

2. Does the quote by Tai Situ Rinpoche resonate with you? 
                         "When the affliction of negative emotions is blazing 
                          like fire, then wisdom is also blazing like fire."
 Can you think of a time in your life when this happened?

Meditation


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